Internet Anonymity

I generally like to read the news online. It's great fun. Typically, I read it while I'm at work and one of my favorite news sources is Yahoo simply because...

1) It's not blocked...
2) It makes me laugh...

With each story, comes the inevitable comment section...usually littered with all sorts of dumb motherfuckers...

Having access to the internet, while a luxury within some societies, has made us a bunch of hate-mongering, self important jerks. It provides people who think they have a right to be heard (myself included) a mouthpiece to spew all sorts of vitriol and curses...without any way for anyone to retaliate in any way other than to respond in kind...

There's no accountability...no retribution...no sentence to be served. They continue to exist...spreading their ignorance and intolerance.

Today, I'd just like to highlight a couple of the repeat offenders out there...

Offender the First...The Source Hater...

"Way to go Yahoo...this isn't even news-worthy. You're nothing but a news site of hacks! Try reporting on something worthwhile..."

This guy (or gal) immediately rips into the source of the article...not understanding that they actually read the thing in the first place and will probably continue to read articles on that very same source every day...while ripping into many other articles in the exact same manner. It happens every time...

Normally, I would love to point this out but it's the internet...and while typing at it is akin to typing at a brick wall...I'd like to think the brick wall would have a more thought-provoking and intelligent point...

Offender the Second...The Ever-Present internet Troll...

-In response to the first guy..."Like how you love banging dudes?"

This one exists simply to get a rise out of you...or you...or ANYONE willing to read their dumb post...

The troll is there to piss everyone off for their own masturbatory (assuming) purposes...They could be bored while surfing the net and have nothing to add to a conversation in any way. Some folks make a habit of doing this constantly. It's absolutely annoying and just goes to show that anyone...even a narrow minded asswipe with nothing better to do and is likely a total pussy IRL can have big, brave internet balls...

Offender the Third...The Closet Racist...

"Has anybody looked into the racial demographics of that crime-ridden area?"

This guy, while being a racist, isn't exactly overt about it...

Sure...that kind of comment could go both ways...but when you read it...it sort of sounds a little racist...right? Which leads to our next guy...

Offender the Fourth...The Overt Racist...

-In response to the third offender..."YEAH...I DID...BUNCH OF FILTHY "insert racial slur here" LIVING IN THAT AREA. BUNCH OF GANG-BANGING "insert racial slur here" IN NEED OF A BOMB DROPPED ON 'EM. WE SHOULD SEND THEM ALL BACK TO "country that isn't the United States"

These speak for themselves. It's a very good chance that these folks don't let the internet stop their true feelings while not online...as they attend their clan rallies...and viciously post on their Facebook pages about how Obama is a Muslim and is turning the country into an Islamic State...

Offender the Fifth...The Meme Generator...

"Thanks Obama..."

This person has nothing new to add to the conversation...as they only respond with internet memes that are either absolutely appropriate...or completely out of left field.

They are useless...

Offender the Sixth...The Champion Speller...

"Your wrong about teh righter of this. Raseism int teh probelm we need better schols for teaching"

This individual could have used a couple of extra grammar lessons from "there school" as this annoys the shit out of anyone who has ever put pen to paper in a capacity involving more than a game of MASH...

In short...I hate Offender the Sixth with the power of a million exploding suns...

Offender the Seventh...The Rotten, No Good, Disrespectful, Short Attention Span Having, Uninformed, Lazy, Terrible, Uneducated, Selfie-Obsessed Tweenager...

"Well your a gay n*&^%r. Bro u shud meet me so well fight lol i fougt ur m0m last night n she wuz all about meeeeeeeeeee

Somebody...please take the internet away from these future titans of industry. I seriously fear for our future with the kids these days...

They're so stupid on paper that it makes me want to track down their parents and beat them about the head with a crowbar for ever deciding to procreate...

However...it's more likely that their children re nothing more than mistakes born out of the desire to bone after getting drunk/high and forgetting to throw on a condom/pull out...etc...

Yes...mistakes is what they are...un-fixable, un-accounted for, unruly mistakes that will one day become everybody's problem...

Fucking Internet...

If you know a type...inform myself and the readers in the comment section. I always appreciate a good convo...

If you're the type of commentator from my list above...go fuck yourself...I'll just delete your shitty comment anyway...

Lunatic Out...